What surprised me the most for the first time playing with toys

I never thought that sex toys were for people like me since I was a child. I thought they were for people who were already confident, satisfied with their bodies, and were already “experienced.” And I'm not like this at all.

So, when I finally bought my first vibrator, I wasn't that bold, nor that bold. Everything was peaceful. Late at night, I read three articles and closed the tag four times before clicking "Buy". I chose a small one - a bullet-type vibrator. It looks soft and simple, and its color and shape are not too fancy. I don't pursue excitement, but want something that won't scare me.

I look forward to happiness, but the first thing I get is discomfort.

It’s not physical discomfort, but emotional discomfort.

I felt embarrassed when I picked up the vibrator for the first time. Not because it has something wrong or bad, but because it makes me feel like I'm seen, even in an empty room. I suddenly realized how far I was from my body. Not just sexual, but everything.

I opened it. It buzzed gently. I put it on my arm just to feel it. It's soft and easy to control. But when I finally started using it, my mind was filled with noise.

Am I doing this right?
Should it feel better?
Why do I feel a little stupid?

When you try to feel something yourself, no one tells you how loud your own thoughts are.

I thought it would be helpful to increase training intensity - but it didn't

This toy has three modes. I skipped the first one and directly selected the second one, then the third one. I thought the higher the intensity, the stronger the stimulation, but that was not the case.

Everything started to feel overwhelming. So I stopped. I took a deep breath. I turned the setting down and tried again, this time it was a little slower. At this moment, the situation changed.

I'm no longer trying to "achieve" anything. I just let myself feel it. It was not fireworks, but warmth, a feeling of touch. It's like mobilizing the part that I've been silent for many years.

Real surprise: I feel... calm

I always thought trying sex toys would feel like crossing the line. As a result, it feels like creating space. It’s not as sexy as it was in the movie, but it’s an intimate experience I’ve never experienced before—even with someone else.

I feel calm. Not because I reached orgasm, but because I didn’t force myself. I listen, observe, and adjust. This time, I didn’t give up on it because my body didn’t act as expected. I persevered.

Things I wish I knew earlier

1. You don't need to be excited to start. Curiosity is enough.

2. It feels like it is accumulated slowly. Some are emotional, some are physical.

3. You can pause. You can try again later.

4. Nothing needs to happen, it’s enough to have feelings.

Journal of Sexual HealthA study aboveThis is supported: when first-time users use vibrators as exploration tools rather than performance tools, they gain better long-term satisfaction.

This is the biggest surprise. Playing with toys is not about repairing something, but about getting along with yourself in an unprecedented way.

You don't have to be prepared, you just need to be curious.

If you are like me - hesitant, uncertain, and even a little scared - it doesn't matter. You don't have to be completely confident to start. You only need a moment to open up. You can take the rest of the time.

Diose created tools for such a start. Quiet. Simple. Safety. They help me stop asking “Am I doing this right?” and start asking “How do I feel?”

To explore more products and resources for beginners, please visitDiose Home Page. If you need help finding the toy that suits you,Please click here to contact us. There is no pressure, only possibility.